MOTORCYCLE FACTS

Murphy's Laws of Motorcycling

  1. A motorcycle cannot fall over without an audience.
  2. The odds of a motorcycle falling over are directly proportional to the size of the audience and of the owner's ego. Newness and cost of the bike are contributing factors.
  3. Motorcycles are to yellow bugs what aircraft carriers once were to Kamikaze pilots.
  4. You will not feel the need to go to the restroom until after you have put on your rainsuit.
  5. The fact that your keys are still in your pants pocket will only become apparent after you have put on your gloves.
  6. Quick fixes are so named for how long they stay fixed.
  7. The only part you really need will also be the only part on permanent backorder.
  8. Nothing is harder to start than a used motorcycle being shown to a prospective buyer.
  9. You will never suffer a punctured tire on the road until you leave the repair kit at home.
  10. "Universal" accessories are so named because that is where you must search to find the bike they fit.

Why Motorcycles Are More Fun Than Women

  1. Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
  2. You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
  3. You can choke your motorcycle.
  4. Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
  5. Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
  6. Motorcycles don't snore.
  7. Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
  8. Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
  9. You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
  10. If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
  11. If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
  12. If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
  13. If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
  14. If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
  15. If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
  16. If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
  17. If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
  18. It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
  19. Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
  20. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
  21. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
  22. Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
  23. Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
  24. Motorcycles don't have parents.
  25. Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
  26. Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
  27. Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  28. Motorcycles last longer.
  29. Motorcycles' curves never sag.
  30. When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
  31. You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
  32. You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
  33. You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
  34. You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
  35. You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
  36. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
  37. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
  38. You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is REALLY worn.
  39. Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
  40. Your Motorcycle doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
  41. Motorcycles always sound pleasant.